Blog
How’s your relationship with your partner ?
We will complete 17 years of our marriage this February
Have I not fought with me ? 100000 times
Have I not thought that he doesn’t love me ? 10000 times
Have I not thought he doesn’t value me ? 1000 times
Have I not thought of a divorce ? 100 times
Have I not thought he is cheating on me? NEVER!!
We had our ups & downs ; we have our difference of opinion; but what I do have in this relationship is TRUST & RESPECT Those are the 2 values I always wanted in my guy everything else is secondary !
I realised our love languages are different ,My love language is more expressive ; more physical
Deepak’s is more through service – through caring, Now that we know each others love language life is easy & fun
You see these pictures ; this is how I feel with Deepak ; the whole world is there but I see him ; I feel him ; his warmth ; & that’s what keeps it ticking.
We have different interests but because we are on same life path we merge ; we connect ; we have so much to discuss ; we help each other Grow !
It wasn’t always like this but we chose to work on our marriage ; everyone must do it !
We asked the question ?
Is it worth working on ? If the core is strong ; if there is no value conflict then why not work on this relation !
We learn everyday
We work on it everyday
We have great chemistry & it oozes out
He still makes my heart skip a beat when he comes out of the room ; that’s what keeps it going I guess
I am no relationship expert but in 17 years what I have learnt & what I practise is
1. Only when you respect the “ I” your “ WE” becomes strong
Give space to each other ; you don’t have to do everything together ; you can have different set of friends ; different likings and yet be together
2. Trust is the most important factor in a relationship
We both never touch each others phone; it’s a unsaid rule ; it’s cause neither of us ever felt the need to spy !! And trust me Deepak was made to believe by many he has many reasons to spy 😃
3. Communication
What you dint like ; you did like ; always expresss without the fear of being judged !! It helps to understand each other & you always know it wasn’t done intentionally
4. Great Sex
We must have sex which makes both the partners happy ; can’t be one way ; can’t be monotonous ; can’t be predictable !!!
I do have greeeeeettttttt sex
5. Have a ritual together
Could be anything that you both will do together no matter what – it can be daily ; weekly or once a month !
6. Have dates night
Doesn’t matter you are 40 or 50 or married for 10 years or have kids ; you both need to have that space ; keep the spark ignited ! Dress up for each other ; I see many women not dressing up at home ; same clothes ; no shower … come on a house wife or a working professional- dress up for your man ! Doesn’t mean expensive clothes ; or make up ; just take the effort is all !!!
7. Drop the ego battle
It’s the toughest one ; but always ask yourself is my ego bigger then the relationship ; it’s not easy but you’ll come around ; you’ll learn to drop it ! It doesn’t matter who says max sorry ; you start and see how the partner realises & comes around !
You have 2 options to say “ we have changed; he has changed ; it’s not like before ; we are old ; etc etc or Make it work ; it takes effort ; everyday ; put that effort joyfully ! For me this Aarti is not complete without this Deepak ! What about you ?